Are you struggling to get your ex back? If so, you’ve probably already tried several things to win him back — things like begging, pleading, promising to change your ways. You might have even gone so far as to break up a new relationship he might be having. Well, how’s that working for you? That’s why you’ve got to stop! Think about how you appear to him. You want to avoid acting childish or scheming. That will only make it harder to get him back.
Seeing ourselves as others see us is one of the hardest things in the world for some of us. But the benefits can be huge! For instance, do you appear to be a stalker? You probably do if you follow him around, showing up everywhere he goes – out with friends or on a date. Of course, you love him, but this is no way to show him. It’s more likely to convince him you’re a wacko.
Try this instead: Next time you end up in the same place together (not intentionally but you will run into him sooner or later by accident), when you walk in and see him, go ahead and acknowledge him. Don’t demand his attention. Say ‘hello,’ then go about your business in another part of the room. Or you might suggest that, since he’s there, you will leave to make him more comfortable. Be polite but go. You may be surprised at the favorable impression that makes, not only on him but others who may be with him. And, if nothing else, the change in your behavior will get him thinking.
When your goal is to get an ex-boyfriend back, doing the unexpected can be very useful, especially if what you’re doing hasn’t been working for you. Have you been calling or texting him all day, or even a few times? Stop. Sure, you can call if you need something. But don’t make something up as an excuse to contact him. And don’t call or text to rehash why he should take you back. Just give it a rest. Then, after a week or more, call to say ‘hello’ and that you were thinking about him. Ask if he’s doing all right, and leave it at that. Note the time before you call and keep the call to 5 minutes or less, even if he wants to talk longer. Remember, short and sweet!
If this is a significant change from your past behavior, he may get suspicious and ask why you called. (No doubt he’s wondering if all this niceness is just a prelude to your normal response.) Just assure him you called because you missed him, say ‘goodbye,’ then end the call on a good note. He’ll wonder why you didn’t beg or plead as usual, and what’s going on. Why does this work? Because you’re taking advantage of a fundamental human trait: We want what we can’t have.
One last thought: If you’d prefer, instead of calling, mail him a card that says you were thinking about him. Then give him a chance to make the next move. Remember to Be Patient! The best way to get an ex-boyfriend to get back is to let him come after you.